But it's also believed that there is a line to how high expectations should be set and how positive a parent can really be. Where do you think this line would be, or does it exist at all? How would crossing this line affect the development of the child? And is it better for the parents to give the line a wide berth and try and walk right next to it?
Friday, March 23, 2012
Evidence - Where's the line?
In footnote #47 Schenk explains that not only is it beneficial for a child to be exposed to more encouraging feedback in order to excel, but also that it has to balance with the amount of discouraging feedback. That the wealthier families have a ratio of 6 encouragement to 1 discouragement where as the welfare families had a ratio of 2 encouragement to 1 discouragement. This along with setting high expectations and embracing failure while trying to reach beyond ones current skill level helps to mold a child into a gifted young adult. This supports the widely followed positive reinforcement techniques when raising children.
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As evident in the cross-fostering studies in mice, parental behavior can affect the behavior of the offspring (Campbell 1129). Even though humans have much more advanced cognitive abilities, the saying 'Do as I say, not as I do," is just a saying; children will learn their behaviors based off of their parents' actions, not what their parents say they should do. A parent's own optimism could improve their child's optimism, which may motivate them to work harder.
ReplyDeleteAs for the 'line' of expectations and positive reinforcement, I believe this varies based on the child. As discussed by Murray, there are high achievement and low achievement personalities (Shenk 150). Each personality responds better to different levels of competition. In the same way, some children may react better to more positive reinforcement, while some may react better to constructive criticism. That being said, Carol Dweck believes that the type of encouragement is also extremely important. If a parent is positive by encouraging a child's hard work, that child will have a more concrete self-esteem (and perhaps motivation and drive to work even harder). On the other hand, empty encouragement can make a child's self esteem more vulnerable (http://web.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=2809129f-d99c-403c-8b76-19c54f3ee01f%40sessionmgr104&vid=10&hid=123). Shenk believes that very few if any humans have ever reached their true limits. This leads me to believe that it is better to try to give the line a wide berth, because the social-emotional health of the child is more important than them trying to get close to a practically unattainable goal.
Cassidy Levy (clevy3)
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ReplyDeleteIn response to Cassidy, I agree that parent's actions, especially early on in a child's life can mold his/her optimism and personality. However, doesn't this also extend to 'achievement personalities'? Children learn how to walk and talk by mimicking those around them - mostly, their parents. It thus stands to reason that the parent's expressions, personalities, and even self-expectations could be mimicked by their children.
ReplyDeleteI also agree that the type of encouragement is very important. In the following paragraphs, when I reference 'encouragement,' lets say that it is the 'good type' that Cassidy mentioned, which encourages hard work and improves self esteem.
In order to determine where the line should be set for expectations and praise for a child, we must envision the perfect parents. I see them as people able to change roles at need - setting expectations to let their kids dream and reach higher and comforting, consoling, and praising when the results require. Thus 'the line' is somewhere different for each individual, yet I still believe that we should be able to narrow down the placement a little more.
Parent encouragement and praise should be positive yet with a reality check, so that the child is not surprised (either way) when he/she reaches the 'real world.' Thus the line must lie somewhere between equal encouragement and discouragement and encouragement with little/no discouragement ( the 'reality check').
Additionally, 'the line' doesn't have to stay in the same place throughout a child's life. As an infant or toddler, it would probably be much better to have mostly encouragement and as little discouragement as possible so as not to limit the child in any emotional, social or physical way. However, as a child grows up, the parents need to start recognizing failure and giving constructive criticism as well as praise and encouragement. Thus 'the line' moves through the desired range of ratios between encouragement and discouragement from mostly encouragement to equal encouragement and discouragement through a lifetime. This also may be connected to the fact that, as Shenk states, a child is full of possibility whereas an adult has a more set path as a result of which possibility was 'picked' as a child.
Emily Reinherz...ereinherz@aol.com
Nowadays parents are setting higher and higher expectations for their children. However, these high expectations may not be beneficial to the child if their expectations are unrealistic or unreachable. Expectations that are too high set up a child for failure right off the bat. For example, a survey reported on by the Guardian claimed that an increasing numbers of parents are pushing their children to read books aimed at a higher age to fast-track their education to the detriment of their development (http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2006/nov/06/schools.children). Often times, the high pressure of the parents' expectations end up hurting the child. These children end up less socially and emotionally mature. Similarly, a parent that is too positive would not be good for the child either. One way humans learn is associative learning, which involves making associations between experiences (Campbell 1127). Through operant conditioning, children come to associate their behavior as good (reward) or bad (punishment) and tend to repeat or avoid that behavior. If the parents are always positive and never punish the child, then the child will never learn to make negative associations with negative experiences and will continue repeating the bad behavior. Environment was shown to be a very crucial element in a child’s development in Hart and Risley’s study (226). Encouragements are good for a child, as Shenk showed when he cited a study by Hart and Risley that showed that children from professional families had higher reading scores partially because of the nurturing and encouraging environment they grew up in (226), but parents also have to punish their children if they do something bad.
ReplyDeleteParents should strive for a balance with having high expectations and being positive. Since we don't know where the line is, it is better for parents to err towards the side of being too positive rather than not being positive enough. In addition, as Cassidy mentioned earlier, the line does vary with each child. Ultimately, evidence shows that one thing that sets professional children, working-class children, and welfare children apart was the amount of encouragement they received and that in turn directly affected their language abilities. Parents should incorporate a lot of encouraging feedback in their interactions with their children to create a nurturing environment and to help offset the gap of children from different backgrounds. As Cassidy said earlier, it is the social-emotional health of the children that is important. However, to give the line a wide berth would be not trying to reach the children's full potential. Parents should set high expectations for their children, but they should realize that in the end it is not these expectations that are the most important thing.
Jessica Hua (jhua33@yahoo.com)